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Advocacy for Victims of Abuse (AVA)
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Breaking the silence on sexual abuse
We have all been watching the events unfold with sadness at Penn State University. For many, this has awakened monsters that may have long been buried. For everyone, this evokes strong emotions, on both sides of the issues. This is a difficult time in our country and particularly difficult for the victims, their families, and those who are still shadowed in the silence. We are not comfortable with sexual abuse, even less so when it happens to boys. So, as the East Coast Conference Regional coordinator I felt compelled to share a few thoughts with you.
Sexual abusers carefully choose their victims, utilizing a strategy called grooming. This process enables a perpetrator to build trust with a child long before any sexual abuse occurs. This trust is critical to the success of the abuser getting what he or she wants. A deliberate part of this grooming process is to teach the Child how to be silent about the activities. This silence is what we need to break so that sexual abuse can no longer be hidden in the shadows.
Rather than focusing on the heated and emotional debate about who did or didn’t do what, let’s take this opportunity to start TALKING about this issue, keeping it silenced no more. I am asking that our East Coast churches start a regular dialogue about sexual abuse. I am asking that each church add all abuse victims to your prayer lists & keep them there as a constant reminder that we must not perpetrate the silence. Finally, l am asking that each of our churches make a commitment to getting AVA up and active in your Church. By utilizing the AVA ministry and resources, our churches can be safe Sanctuaries and healing places for all people in need as He has called us to do … breaking the silence for those without a voice.
God bless you all,
Colleen
Colleen Cox (right), East Coast Conference AVA coordinator
Interview with Colleen Cox, new AVA coordinator for the East Coast Conference
The East Coast Conference Women Ministries Board is thrilled to introduce the new conference AVA Coordinator, Colleen Cox, a member of Christ Covenant Church in Harleysville, Pennsylvania. We asked her a few questions and here are her answers. We trust you’ll see why we are so excited. Note: The "WM" interviewer is a conference Women Ministries leader.
WM: Tell us about yourself.
CC: Well, I am an incredibly blessed woman. I was born and raised in Youngstown, Oh. I got to Pennsylvania on a long strange trip. I am divorced but remarried to my soul mate, the dream of my life, a true life partner, Jonathan. We will be together forever. My faith and my marriage are the two biggest things in my life. I’ve always wanted to make a difference. Then I learned that I couldn’t have children. But I wanted to leave a legacy and found I was drawn to social work as a career. I’ve been a social worker for 20 years. And that also, is a long, strange trip. I’ve worked with victims of violent crime, been certified in domestic violence and sexual abuse counseling; acquired a Master’s degree in social work, and worked in homeless shelters and domestic abuse programs. I’ve always been affected by people. Child abuse is so big. Now I serve as a supervisor with Child Welfare in Pennsylvania. On the lighter side, I have two cats, Simon and Joshua, am a proud aunt, a youth leader in my church, and a Godmother.
WM: How did you learn of the Covenant’s Advocates for Victims of Abuse (AVA) training?
CC: I was reading through the Triennial registration brochure and saw that a training event was going to be held before the conference. I was debating about whether to go or not, because I suspected there would be a lot of women’s “rah rah stuff,” which takes me out of my comfort zone. But I went to the website and checked out all that was going to be presented, and I felt called. This could be an answer not only for my church, but also for other churches that don’t have the expertise or experience to deal with the overwhelming issue of abuse. Immediately I knew it was not a question of “Will I go?”, but “How quickly can I get there?” I am so excited to be part of such a wonderful effort. I always felt my work was special, but with AVA it feels like a calling. It takes social work one step further with a faith component.
WM: Tell us what the training was like. What did you expect?
CC: I come from a place of tons of training and half expected to be bored or on alert to be sure the information was correct. But I didn’t have to do any of that. Yvonne DeVaughn is really, really very good. The training was comprehensive, encouraged partnership with existing efforts, strongly recommended going through additional training and being certified. Then it added the faith piece. And the whole experience just made me very happy, even though I had to rush home for a medical emergency right after class.
WM: Tell us about your church family.
CC: I’m in my sixth year at Christ Covenant Church in Harleysville, Pa. I was raised Catholic and had issues with organized church for a long time. Then my best friend asked me to be Godmother for her baby. I figured it was time to be serious about spiritual things and finally found the incredible church family at Christ Covenant Church. I’m a youth leader there and work with junior and senior high young people, and I hope making a difference for them in their faith walk.
WM: What to you hope to accomplish as an AVA Coordinator? What’s your vision for AVA in the East Coast Conference?
CC: ( Laugh) Well, do you mean in a perfect world with no budget constraints…? We need to have a safe place for victims of abuse. I’d like to see at least a second coordinator and 2 advocates in every church, because the issues are so prevalent and there’s so little training in the churches. Is there another social worker out there who’s interested in being an AVA coordinator? Unfortunately I know next to nothing about other conference churches, and make getting to know the churches in the Conference a goal this year. At the very least we need to encourage advocates with special training in each church. I’d like to see an AVA awareness Sunday event around the conference in October, which is National Domestic Violence Awareness Month. I need to let people know I’m here and I’m a resource. I’d like to do some kind of regular column on the website. And schedules permitting, I’m willing to speak at churches.
I’ve created an e-mail site so people can communicate with me directly. It’s ColleenCoxAVA @ yahoo.com. I see my role as catalyst. I’m looking forward to the ECC Women Ministry Board planning meeting at the end of January when I can get to meet the board and we can jointly plan. I will be attending a conference event in May in RI and hope to speak to the congregation there. I was just asked to be a presenter at a retreat planned for the fall by a church in MD. Things are starting to happen, and that is very exciting. To think that God has given me the opportunity to interact with more than 70 churches! It’s thrilling.
Yvonne DeVaughn was our retreat speaker two years ago and most recently spoke at the Minister’s Retreat (Ashram) in November 2010, and the people who attended were once again reminded that one in four women and one in six men are victims of abuse in their lifetime. These staggering statistics cause a sense of urgency to have Church Advocates in each of our local churches.
Although you may not feel called to become an “Advocate” or a Regional Coordinator, this session will help you to be more sensitive to an issue that affects so many in our churches and community.
If you have any questions about Women Ministries, do not hesitate to email these members of the East Coast Conference Women Ministries Team: Karen Grant at KJGCool [at] gmail.com, Susan Falcetta at SFalcetta [at] trinitycovenantchurch.org, Barbara McKay at bmka [at] sbcglobal.net , Emily Montfort at EMontfort209 [at] gmail.com, Sue Van Hoewyk at sue.vanhoewyk [at] gmail.com , Olinda Young at olinda.3 [at] netzero.com, Courtney Crowder at Courtneycrowder [at] yahoo.com, Cathy Fredlund at cbfredl [at] optonline.net Lisa Olsen at sundell4 [at] optonline.net , or Barbara Barnes at BABarnes [at] aol.com .
Devotionals Blog
Please visit the Women Ministries devotionals written by Emily Montfort...